What a relief, the juices were absolutely delicious today, so it was not as torturous cooking all the children’s meals.

I also woke with more energy than usual, despite broken sleep during the night, so I took advantage and went to a yoga class. It is so good to be able to do exercise again. I’m a bit sore tonight, but very grateful that I have no pain.

Later in the day, I had a phone call from an NHS specialist recruiter asking me if I was interested in a couple of job opportunities with a previous client. I have struggled since my second operation with the thought of working for the NHS again, simply because the institution has caused me and my family so much harm, and some of my experiences have been horrendous.

Being refused pain relief after my first mesh removal operation because I was not appearing on the ward computer system was horrific. I’d been assured good pain control following such major surgery, so to find myself without any at all was traumatic. It took my husband complaining to the chief executive for the computer system to be overridden, and 16 hours to bring my pain under control. The Sling the Mesh women on the campaign facebook page supported me through every step of that lonely, painful night while tears rolled continuously down my face. I will be forever grateful to them.

Yet I find the NHS a contradiction and me in a conundrum. The institution has also saved several lives in my immediate and extended family and I am very grateful for the expertise and kindnesses I have experienced. Some of these people I consider friends, such was their dedication, the quality of their care, and the strength of the relationships I have built with them.

It’s a difficult one to reconcile, so I’m keeping all options open.

A lovely pear, peach, blueberry and sweet potato juice for dessert was the highlight of my day’s juices.

Today’s juices were a complete write off. The yuckiest yet, so I downed the lot and couldn’t finish one for fear of being sick. I didn’t think they tasted so bad last night, but definitely too much celery in one. The only juicing highlight was my broth and even that tasted a bit funny after so many hideous taste sensations.

Then I read Joe Cross’s twitter feed and another juicer had asked Joe whether his ‘Mean Green’ juice should taste so unpleasant. He replied saying it should always taste good, so just to add more apple or pear if it doesn’t. Obviously the size of vegetables and fruits differ vastly so the juicy outcome from a single recipe can vary just as much, so in future I’ll do as he suggests.

Awe-inspiringly, a man called Chad Smirz hit 365 days of juicing last week. His starting weight was 49 stone so I assume he is fit and lean by now!

The Egyptian mummy rooms at the British Museum provided a welcome distraction from my stomach. It was a girls’ day out with my daughter, who was absolutely fascinated by the mummies. She wanted to know the story of every child mummy and how they had died. The three rooms and the many stories filled us both with wonder.

We then walked down memory lane, past Senate House Library, where I used to hide away and study for my finals, and University of London Union (now known as Student Central) where I spent many cocktails nights and black tie balls. Then past a new state of the art student centre at University College London, where I spent 4 years studying science. Then past the Bloomsbury Theatre where I watched many films as a member of the UCL film club and was entertained by dance and theatre productions. Then past UCL Student’s Union where there were more cocktails, round onto Euston Road and The Wellcome where I studied several fascinating History of Medicine courses, and where we met two Sling the Mesh London girls in the lovely Wellcome Cafe for our February Meet up.

It was an appropriate place to meet, as one of the courses I studied at the Wellcome was Madness in Society which covered women and hysteria. I liken the mesh disaster to this topic at times, as most of the affected women have at some point been told their pain is all in their heads, or that the media has whipped us all into a hysterical frenzy which we must ignore! Interestingly, until 1980 hysteria was a formally studied psychological disorder that could be found in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Thankfully it isn’t anymore!

As always, meeting with other mesh-afflicted women is a wonderful experience with much sharing and support. My daughter drew us a Sling The Mesh poster and then entertained us with a chorus of ‘What do we want? SLING THE MESH! ‘When do we want it?’ NOW!

My husband did the weekly shop this morning and bought me all the ingredients I need for days 21-25, so I have yet another 5 days of juicing ahead of me. There is no plan for days 21-30, so I can choose the juices I like or follow a previous 5 day plan. I’ve decided to do the latter simply because the shopping list is already done and I’m too tired to plan anything more complicated.

Today was a bit of a killer. Roast chicken dinner for the kids, my favourite, followed by chocolate cake bought by a new friend who didn’t know I was juice fasting, or that I’ve been dairy free for 7 years. The rest of the family enjoyed it! My husband came home after Wales won the rugby saying he was celebrating with a pack of After Eight mints. I walked out of the room at that point. So Eighties, and yet so yum!

I waited 45 minutes to see the neurologist yesterday and that was private care (no apology). He took a full case history, which took the length of my consultation no doubt, before he got me to do what he called silly tests. His testing was very thorough and he ended by saying that he thought my nerves were healing nicely. The juicing was obviously helping and his advice was to continue doing it along with my weekly physio, as dietary changes and physio are the only treatment he could offer me anyway. He thought the scarring from decades of hand eczema was causing my skin to be too tight to allow my fingers to bend (not sure I buy this as I could bend my fingers before), otherwise it is chronic inflammation-induced arthritis. I really hope not. He didn’t have an answer for why my hands and feet feel cold all the time, or why my toes are often numb and my balance is affected, so, I wave goodbye to neurology and await the next consultation with the Raynaud’s Syndrome expert.

On a high note, the skin on my hands looks almost normal in colour today, and apart from two knife-like cuts on the ends of two fingers, all the rest have healed. I can also bend my fingers further, and the joint pain may even be a little less.

I have been testing my histamine intolerance by adding oranges and lemons to my juices and interestingly I’ve had no reaction. All citrus fruits have been banned from my diet for the past 7 months as they contain high levels of histamine. There’s certainly a taste improvement with my juices now I can add in citrus. I’m going to try spinach (another high histamine food) this week to see how I handle that. If this is a success then I may try touching a kiwi skin. Yes, I mean touching, not eating. Normally, just touching the skin causes my skin to split open within a few minutes leading to open wounds. I’d like to enjoy the fact that I have mostly intact skin first before trying that experiment though.

And there are other benefits too. I’m sprouting new hair all over my head – whoopee! I can certainly do with that after it fell out by the handful after my surgery. And the skin on my face has a pinkier glow today. Many mesh-inured women say their complexion goes a bit grey. I don’t think I’d noticed this happen to me, but there was a definitely a change this morning. The other huge benefit is weight loss: 11lbs and counting, and a total now of 1 stone 10 pounds since July. I think most of this loss is water as I’ve had an extended abdomen, looking up to 6 months pregnant every evening since June 2017, and swollen feet, hands and face for almost as long. I also went to the gym 6 sessions a week from March to August last year and didn’t lose a single pound. It wasn’t until I started on the anti-inflammatory, low histamine diet in July that I began to lose weight, or water retention as I suspect. This is evidenced by my shoes becoming sloppy. My mum in law treated me to a new pair of ballet pumps last week which were half a size smaller than the ones I’m currently wearing.

Despite these happy changes, I’m so looking forward to eating again. Thank you to all my friends and family for your support. This is so hard.

Time for some more broth to cheer me up I think.

Tired yet again. A little boy arrived at 2.30am, ruining my hopes of a full night’s sleep. I ignored the morning alarm for an hour then panicked as I’d forgotten it was my first date with the gym for three and a half months and the kids were off for a Kids’ Club workout.

My consultant urogynaecologist advised me to become as fit as possible in preparation for my operation last October, saying I would regain my health much quicker if I was. As I had experienced ongoing pain after my first removal operation in November 2017, this suggestion raised a few anxieties, particularly as I’d needed 13 sessions of acupuncture and osteopathy to bring my pain under control. The hour-long sessions initially caused me yell-out-loud pain before I began to experience any benefits and the osteopath (also an immunologist) voiced how shocked she was at the extent of the chronic inflammation in my body.

So, I built up the exercise very slowly, starting with pilates, then including yoga and aqua-aerobics and then ballet barre and the gym. Gradually the pains in my left hip and leg began to lessen until I only felt pain bending over.

Today, I managed ten minutes on the bike with no pain and the same on the treadmill, walking and jogging, with no pain! Then half an hour of physio exercises to build up my wrist and leg strength and to assist me with balance. I was glowing afterwards with pride and the kids were too but with sweat when I picked them up!

We went to Richmond in the afternoon to watch the The Lego Movie 2. Two of my three children liked it, but I wasn’t so fussed. It’s amazing the difference in price of cinema tickets. The Odeon in Southampton was £24 for 1 adult, 2 senior citizens and 3 children on their half-term family deal. The same family deal at the Odeon in Richmond cost me £46 for 1 adult and 3 children only! I just assumed that the half-term deal would be the same and baulked at the bill which was another £10 more with the addition of 3 waters and 2 small cartons of sweets. The London tax again.

Continuing to love my new vegetable potassium broth in the evenings. Its satisfyingly savoury and it is making me very happy. Just a shame that the parsnip dessert didn’t taste quite so good after it.

What could be better than cradling an incredibly soft newborn chick, stroking an adorably large lop-eared rabbit, feeding hungry, noisy ducks, watching baby pigs play football and bottle-feeding newborn baby goats? It was a day of smiles and happiness at Longdown Activity Farm and our last day with Nanny and Grandad. The kids were very upset to leave, but Nanny reassured them that there was plenty left to do for next time.

As an adult, I now fully appreciate how fortunate I was growing up between Winchester and Southampton. Within 15 minutes to half an hour drive in any direction there are interesting and fun things to do with your spare time. Nanny and Grandad now run a self-catering accommodation called The Stable at Rambler Cottage and are able to recommend places to see and visit in any direction. The Stable is an idyllic place for a holiday, conveniently located for Paulton’s Park and Peppa Pig World, Marwell Zoo, The New Forest, The Royal Victoria Country Park and ferries to the Isle of Wight and Blackgang Chine, one of my favourite amusement parks of all time and the oldest in the UK, having opened in the 1840s.

It certainly isn’t because of the amount of sleep that I’m getting which can explain why my hand eczema is continuing to improve, so I have to assume it is my high micronutrient diet that is having an effect. And, astonishingly, I think I have some more movement in my fingers. I see the neurologist at Queen Square tomorrow so I look forward to hearing why he thinks I have lost mobility in my hands and feet and why I go cold as soon as I sit down.

It must be hot water bottle time again. Here’s hoping it is a kid-free night now they are all back in their own beds….

Some days I’m just glad the day is over! I’m being beaten into the ground by my boys, not the juice – that’s easy by comparison. Bringing up twin boys is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and they are only 3 years and 10 months old. What on earth is coming next if they are already 3 going on 13 years. Should I start building a bomb shelter now in preparation?

Getting out of the house on time still has my cortisol rising through the roof (which stimulates histamine release, which equals very bad news for me). Cleaning teeth with the boys is the most ridiculous battle, no matter the suggestions others have given me to try and ease the pain. The scientist in me even showed them YouTube videos of kids with rotten teeth, but that didn’t scare them into common sense either!

One is currently up to greater mischief than the other and is very bright with his chatback. When I asked him yesterday could he tell me when he had been good that day, he replied, “only when I am asleep Mummy!”

Those really bad moments though did not cloud what was a very special day spent with cousins at Sir Harold Hillier Gardens. A wonderful place for kids to run and explore and well thought out family spaces with hidden away swing seats, raised walkways, musical chimes, summer houses and benches galore to rest tired feet.

Today has ended on a massive high note, after starting with me wanting to give the boys up for adoption. My Dad cooked me a vegetable potassium broth to ease my savoury cravings. He boiled up onions, garlic, potato peelings, carrot peelings, celery, beetroot and red chilli pepper for an hour before straining it and serving. For some strange reason I was expecting a Master Chef consommé. But the beetroot red broth served in a blue striped china mug was every bit as delicious. A huge thank you Dad!

Some new ingredients and new recipes – hoorah! But all still on the sweet spectrum (80% veg/20% fruit), and I’m continuing to crave for salt and pepper and spice; a dopiaza would fit the bill nicely.

Yet another sleepless night with three excited kids all sleeping in the same room in a triple bunk, two of whom ended up with me in the middle of the night, then chose to wake at 5.45am! I growled at them to go back to sleep but it wasn’t going to happen.

An excellent soft play at the Marwell Adventure Barn finally wore the kids out, which meant we could have a calmer afternoon at the cinema. It was certainly a trip down memory lane visiting the Odeon in Southampton which, 20 years ago, had next to it two of the best clubs in the city. Now the units looked empty and there was no evidence of the glamour and glitz of times gone by.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World was fun and kept the kids in their seats for the whole film, clutching onto small sandwich bags stuffed with a few sweets.

I didn’t want any I realised and I’m a sweet addict normally. It’s my savoury craving which is yet to be satisfied.

My daily juices are normally a mix of green, red and orange, but today they ended up green and murky brown. An overdose of kale perhaps? The pretty-looking mini kalettes weren’t quite so attractive juiced by the packet full with beetroot, despite them being one of the most nutrient-dense foods on the planet!

Sadly, 4 out of 5 of the juices were so unappetising it was a case of down the hatch and try not to gag.

Another day ticked and a change of scene: a few days at Nanny and Grandad’s and lots of exciting things planned for half term. Hopefully one night the kids will sleep…..

I couldn’t be getting more micronutrients and yet have typically fallen foul of my kids’ end-of-term stinky cold. Both boys have been up during the night again suffering, and I woke this morning to one stroking my face, poking me in the eye and telling he loved me but that it was, “time to open your eyes mummy”.

On autopilot, I did the fruit and veg shop for the next 5 days and felt very virtuous arriving at the till with so much greenery. But then I spotted my French neighbours in the queue next to me and their basket looked equally as green. Sigh! So it looks like I’m going to tackle up to 20 days now. Joe Cross is currently celebrating reaching his 30 days target and saying how wonderful he feels. I’m feeling exactly the opposite: snotty, sneezy, shivery, with a thick head and fed up. Hot food, soup really, would be lovely, but that’s not on the menu for day 15 sadly.

I didn’t feel like my dinner juice, but had a sip to show willing. However, it was so revolting it went straight down the sink. What a waste of time and good veg. I’d supplemented a bag of watercress for two handfuls of spinach, which wasn’t such a good move. Way too peppery.

Thankfully my peach and pear dessert was as delicious as ever.

I’ve nearly reached a fortnight, but today boredom set in. Perhaps it’s the cold British winter and drinking cold juice, when really I’d rather be eating winter warmer stodge – potato cheese and onion pie with baked beans anyone? Birthday cake also looked yummy at my niece’s 4th birthday today! My sis excelled again with her marvellous cake creation, which was soon gobbled up by very excited pre-schoolers and their Mums and Dads.

Excitingly, my hands continued to recover today. The inflamed skin is slowly reducing in colour, itchiness and soreness and many of my cuts have healed. I also noticed more mobility in my fingers, despite them still being stiff and painful. I’m taking photos so I can monitor my progress.

But the best news is that I can finally wear trousers and some of my old clothes again as my abdominal swelling has reduced so much that they no longer feel uncomfortable. I’ve been wearing mainly big tights and stretchy dresses for over a year now to accommodate the swelling, so I wore new and old clothes today with great joy!